[ It illuminates as a single thread drawn taut across the Murmur's game of ayatori. Distant at first, but too pointed to be the work of ambient, unmoored noise. Curiosity. Then — as the blooming tendrils of the city's malady recall the rot-beast that stalked his dreams and flayed his magic — concern, marrow-soft and just as deep.
To read is to enter. To speak is to summon. The moment Subaru follows, his consciousness spills into light. Any number of snarls could denote any number of feelings as Subaru's sudden, stumbled-upon proximity to his once-protector in this cityscape causes his emotions to sharpen at the sight of him.
[ for toji, reality has long been a slippery, layered thing. living as he did in a world choked with curses, existing through the haze of all the violence and the pain and the loss, reality and his place in it proved an unreliable, elusive thing. where he could blink and be knee deep in corpses he couldn't remember making, where he would turn around and his wife would be gone, or his son was suddenly walking, or there would be no one home at all.
he can't decide if that's made this place easier to get used to or that much more jarring, not that the distinction actually matters much in the end. he's here either way, and megumi is here, and—
subaru's once-protector sits in the crumbling remains of a high rise apartment. he climbed up through the twisted, sagging stairwell just to prove to himself that he still had it, to find himself a quiet place to listen in on all the happenings in the murmur, to learn all he could about this place and his son and their place in it. the apartment in question is clearly dream-touched, its furnishings fixed against the pull of gravity straight out of the far wall and toji sitting on the edge of an open window that leads to a far more normal looking room a floor below.
when subaru appears, there's a ripple of emotion through the fabric of this new, tenuous reality that toji is able to detect, a sense of gratitude that is not his that washes over him like spring rain.
it's such a foreign thing that it makes him briefly frown. does gratitude always feel so tight in the chest? is it supposed to ache?
toji looks up and sees the surly idiot he spent that fraught stretch of time in that inaugural dream, and he breathes out some distant relative of relief. ]
Look at you, still in one piece. I was starting to wonder.
[ he tips his canine half-mask back to see if subaru is visible without it, but as he suspected, it's a necessary conduit for this kind of projection. just as well. he thinks he looks nice and mysterious with it on. he lets it drop again, flashing subaru a grin from beneath it instead. ]
[ Not a dream, but some alternate layer of reality Subaru now wields as a narrow tributary for the overbrimming of his heart: it's a thing held down by force, a thing in constant flux. It moves like nature does and it has let him out into something much bigger and yet somehow more concentrated, to somehow bring him right to Toji's dream-shorn doorstep. Communicating through the Murmur is an easy sell for an onmyouji, but to navigate by it is something else he politely declines to concentrate too hard on at present.
The grin is more the hook that snares him; the "greeting" prompts him to actually enter. ]
Were you?
[ It's rhetoric half-waking, made tangible by the space. ]
Then it's reasonable that I'd find you here.
[ When, in fact, there is almost nothing reasonable about this at all. ]
[ 'unreasonable' about sums up toji as a person, so fortunately enough for him, he feels right at home. ]
I guess I should've figured you'd find me sooner or later, the way you go looking for trouble.
[ is that a flirt, an insult, or a tease? just about everything toji says has the unfortunate effect of sounding like at least two of the above, so it's impossible to say with certainty. ]
You been making friends?
[ he's been trying to keep tabs on people as he can through the murmur, but there's so much noise that he's had to prioritize megumi. he also didn't manage to catch subaru's name in the dream, and there was a bit much going on for him to have complete certainty that he could positively identify the man from disembodied psychic voice on magic network alone. ]
[ Subaru makes a face that denotes he'd like to argue. He won't, because what it really comes down to is semantics — an area of his expertise he guesses this man won't willingly engage him on. So, the Murmur bleeds his capitulation to it, leaving well enough alone when it comes to the tooth and nail digging of flirtation. ]
No. [ Even he doesn't know if that's a lie. Whatever it is, it sounds natural in the way practice makes something natural. ] I'm just observing.
[ He can move through the space, though his edges are slightly clouded. Apparitions of rot follow him, tendrilled and floral. As if the connection is sieving bits and pieces of memory relevant to the feeling that brought him here. ]
...the creature didn't follow, but the blight is the same.
[ the way toji studies subaru is, perhaps, familiar to him. or maybe it's utterly foreign in the way that which we choose not to see remains unknown. either way, the eyes that scan subaru are clinical, calculative in the way of someone who has pared down his daily interactions with others into data, into statistics and equations and very little more. it's an appraising look, slow and cautious and animal.
then toji laughs, rolling broad shoulders in a purposefully languid stretch before reclining back, legs still dangling through the window, propped up now only on his forearms and elbows. showing his belly, baring his neck. maybe that would mean more if subaru was physically present in this space, but it means something nonetheless. ]
Thank me? What for? I mean, it was you who got you into the mess you were in, but you got hurt over me. Sticking around is just... normal, isn't it?
[ on some level, toji is actually asking. he's pretty sure he knows most of the rules people play by with each other, but he's refused even the basic pretense of decency and social palatability for so long he's not always sure. like, that sounds right, but he's never really done it before. he thinks people try to practice it, but they're not as good at it as they'd like to believe when faced with a real crisis.
and, well, by the time you're standing in toji's crosshairs, that's as real a crisis as it really gets. ]
[ It would serve him better to acquiesce a gaze like that. He doesn't; he never learned how. To pursue equal footing with familiarity has never brooked him any uncertainty. Instead, Subaru holds it as if in invitation of whatever feral cunning prowls the boundary of their meeting, as if daring Toji to further define the dream-blurred edges with what animal insight he gains. His gravitas denies caution. Here, home. Any wasteland, awake or asleep, will do.
When it's laughter that comes, bared and tameless, Subaru doesn't look any more or less gratified by the conclusion. But the line does breathe softer, briefly. ]
You didn't ask me to stay. [ In fact, he's certain that Toji attempted to put him off of staying. ] I chose to do that, so you had no obligation to look after me afterwards.
[ Maybe it's normal. Subaru's lens for it is cracked and he finds difficulty in scrying any meaning from camaraderie. Instead, there is only the torrential cosmic bloom of his will, respectfully called to heel at his side. So that these two stubborn animals can stare at one another.
At least before Subaru finally moves toward the window. ]
Mm, it's been an unfortunate month that I haven't seen you to offer my heartfelt affections. While I know you're already well aware of my feelings towards you, I'm in such a generous mood with the sun back out that I need to give you credit for continuing to exceed my expectations.
[ he probably already knew where this was going as soon as he heard Aventurine open his "mouth" between them. ]
You're even more of a Fucking Idiot than I thought.
[ Aventurine knows Toji doesn't care, especially not about what Aventurine, but he's still Mad enough by the man's handling of things with Megumi that he's going to make sure all his bitchy opinions are still heard!! ]
[ toji's been so preoccupied trying to keep his idiot son alive from afar that he has no actual idea what aventurine is on about. as far as he remembers, aventurine's feelings for him are somewhere between inadvisably horny and complete disrespect. which, unfortunately, toji can't say he's not into.
whatever, this really isn't his problem.
he can't help but try to get the last word, though. ]
Oh, just you wait until I see you next, and then you'll really get a feel for just how bad I want to fuck you. [ this is not flirting this is a threat. there's a difference. probably. ]
this tag caused me to find out maruchan isn't commonly available in canada
[ look, kitten, you're like obsessed with him or something. if you were a girl this would be the part where he sits you down to talk to you about your obvious daddy issues. ]
Yeah? What are we waiting for?
[ while we wouldn't say getting threatened is a kink for toji, though we're also not saying it's not, he's definitely more than comfortable with it because he gets this sort of thing pretty much all the time. it's comfortable, like instant noodles on a cold winter night. and you could be his maruchan, baby-- ]
[ clearly being an insulting petty bitch and assuming Toji would know what he was referring to along with making it first sound like a booty call has backfired(?)
(it could absolutely be an obsession though.)
—HE IS SO ABOVE INSTANT NOODLES QUALITY AGHHHH
ok, this is fine. he can handle this... :) ]
...Babe, I'm busy with a similarly attractive and younger man right now. Unless you would like to have a conversation with him? He seems to want to have a conversation with you.
YEAH THEY HAVE SOMETHING CALLED MR NOODLES INSTEAD??
[ fuck his life damn it why are so many people on his list in the stupid tunnels. he is absolutely frazzled, and when the murmur message comes to Toji, it sounds like someone whispering over the phone because they're hiding under the bed or something along those lines. ]
[ damn, he thought he was gonna get to play with you a bit. that serious, huh? okay, he's up, he's up. it's a refreshing change from that stingy, smarmy bitch seishirou anyway. ]
[ he'll tantrum depending how ridiculous your request is (even though he will absolutely do it) and you can bully him later! ]
Some wild super hosts came through my wall; and I'm pretty sure they would love kill me rather than have a conversation about how I should hear about their Lord and Savior, Sleep. There's a lot of them, and they're generally faster and stronger than the usual ones. I thought maybe I could just run them around, but they're really persistent! And even if I pick them off, more show up.
[ he'll send some mental images of the hosts to Toji, and while some look like the normal ones that wander around at night and at the subway areas nearest their entrances, a few are clearly bigger and/or more grotesque. Others are clearly simply far more aggressive which can be seen by their default body language.
He'll also give Toji a quick replay of the car coming right through the wall in front of him earlier, which kicked off this whole thing, something hosts don't actually (at least not normally?) do. Being inside of a building or with a wall between you and them is normally pretty safe so long as they can't wander along and find an opening to pass through somehow. ]
... Also never had to fight one of these things before. They've always left me alone. I figure you have at least a little experience.
[ what with you running around outside feral a lot and all at night and things! ]
Edited (haha mobile typos what) 2026-01-13 17:17 (UTC)
[ the thing about running feral at night is he doesn't really remember what happens? he just wakes up covered in gore, finds somewhere to hose off, and puts his clothes back on. but he also has a lot of experience with fighting shit in general, so there's that.
he takes off as promised, the fact that aventurine is dug into a known location simplifying matters considerably.
from aventurine's perspective, there's a long stretch of silence as toji doesn't bother replying after he's gotten all the information he needs. then, distantly, the sound of things shifting, of rubble and ruin moving, the dull, wet, meaty sounds of a fight--
and then toji's voice from somewhere nearby as he casually grapples a host scrabbling around aventurine's space and chucks it wholesale out the window. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the gay murmur → gay meatspace pipeline
To read is to enter. To speak is to summon. The moment Subaru follows, his consciousness spills into light. Any number of snarls could denote any number of feelings as Subaru's sudden, stumbled-upon proximity to his once-protector in this cityscape causes his emotions to sharpen at the sight of him.
Only gratitude surfaces. ]
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he can't decide if that's made this place easier to get used to or that much more jarring, not that the distinction actually matters much in the end. he's here either way, and megumi is here, and—
subaru's once-protector sits in the crumbling remains of a high rise apartment. he climbed up through the twisted, sagging stairwell just to prove to himself that he still had it, to find himself a quiet place to listen in on all the happenings in the murmur, to learn all he could about this place and his son and their place in it. the apartment in question is clearly dream-touched, its furnishings fixed against the pull of gravity straight out of the far wall and toji sitting on the edge of an open window that leads to a far more normal looking room a floor below.
when subaru appears, there's a ripple of emotion through the fabric of this new, tenuous reality that toji is able to detect, a sense of gratitude that is not his that washes over him like spring rain.
it's such a foreign thing that it makes him briefly frown. does gratitude always feel so tight in the chest? is it supposed to ache?
toji looks up and sees the surly idiot he spent that fraught stretch of time in that inaugural dream, and he breathes out some distant relative of relief. ]
Look at you, still in one piece. I was starting to wonder.
[ he tips his canine half-mask back to see if subaru is visible without it, but as he suspected, it's a necessary conduit for this kind of projection. just as well. he thinks he looks nice and mysterious with it on. he lets it drop again, flashing subaru a grin from beneath it instead. ]
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The grin is more the hook that snares him; the "greeting" prompts him to actually enter. ]
Were you?
[ It's rhetoric half-waking, made tangible by the space. ]
Then it's reasonable that I'd find you here.
[ When, in fact, there is almost nothing reasonable about this at all. ]
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I guess I should've figured you'd find me sooner or later, the way you go looking for trouble.
[ is that a flirt, an insult, or a tease? just about everything toji says has the unfortunate effect of sounding like at least two of the above, so it's impossible to say with certainty. ]
You been making friends?
[ he's been trying to keep tabs on people as he can through the murmur, but there's so much noise that he's had to prioritize megumi. he also didn't manage to catch subaru's name in the dream, and there was a bit much going on for him to have complete certainty that he could positively identify the man from disembodied psychic voice on magic network alone. ]
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No. [ Even he doesn't know if that's a lie. Whatever it is, it sounds natural in the way practice makes something natural. ] I'm just observing.
[ He can move through the space, though his edges are slightly clouded. Apparitions of rot follow him, tendrilled and floral. As if the connection is sieving bits and pieces of memory relevant to the feeling that brought him here. ]
...the creature didn't follow, but the blight is the same.
[ An explanation halved for a moment. ]
I lost sight of you before I could thank you.
[ So. ]
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then toji laughs, rolling broad shoulders in a purposefully languid stretch before reclining back, legs still dangling through the window, propped up now only on his forearms and elbows. showing his belly, baring his neck. maybe that would mean more if subaru was physically present in this space, but it means something nonetheless. ]
Thank me? What for? I mean, it was you who got you into the mess you were in, but you got hurt over me. Sticking around is just... normal, isn't it?
[ on some level, toji is actually asking. he's pretty sure he knows most of the rules people play by with each other, but he's refused even the basic pretense of decency and social palatability for so long he's not always sure. like, that sounds right, but he's never really done it before. he thinks people try to practice it, but they're not as good at it as they'd like to believe when faced with a real crisis.
and, well, by the time you're standing in toji's crosshairs, that's as real a crisis as it really gets. ]
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When it's laughter that comes, bared and tameless, Subaru doesn't look any more or less gratified by the conclusion. But the line does breathe softer, briefly. ]
You didn't ask me to stay. [ In fact, he's certain that Toji attempted to put him off of staying. ] I chose to do that, so you had no obligation to look after me afterwards.
[ Maybe it's normal. Subaru's lens for it is cracked and he finds difficulty in scrying any meaning from camaraderie. Instead, there is only the torrential cosmic bloom of his will, respectfully called to heel at his side. So that these two stubborn animals can stare at one another.
At least before Subaru finally moves toward the window. ]
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november event, week 4
Mm, it's been an unfortunate month that I haven't seen you to offer my heartfelt affections. While I know you're already well aware of my feelings towards you, I'm in such a generous mood with the sun back out that I need to give you credit for continuing to exceed my expectations.
[ he probably already knew where this was going as soon as he heard Aventurine open his "mouth" between them. ]
You're even more of a Fucking Idiot than I thought.
[ Aventurine knows Toji doesn't care, especially not about what Aventurine, but he's still Mad enough by the man's handling of things with Megumi that he's going to make sure all his bitchy opinions are still heard!! ]
Bye now~♥
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whatever, this really isn't his problem.
he can't help but try to get the last word, though. ]
You want to fuck me so bad it's embarrassing.
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—also sir those are fighting words?! ]
Oh, just you wait until I see you next, and then you'll really get a feel for just how bad I want to fuck you. [ this is not flirting this is a threat. there's a difference. probably. ]
this tag caused me to find out maruchan isn't commonly available in canada
Yeah? What are we waiting for?
[ while we wouldn't say getting threatened is a kink for toji, though we're also not saying it's not, he's definitely more than comfortable with it because he gets this sort of thing pretty much all the time. it's comfortable, like instant noodles on a cold winter night.
and you could be his maruchan, baby-- ]REALLY?
(it could absolutely be an obsession though.)
—HE IS SO ABOVE INSTANT NOODLES QUALITY AGHHHHok, this is fine. he can handle this... :) ]
...Babe, I'm busy with a similarly attractive and younger man right now. Unless you would like to have a conversation with him? He seems to want to have a conversation with you.
YEAH THEY HAVE SOMETHING CALLED MR NOODLES INSTEAD??
[ that's not even trying to be subtle, baby. ]
Just remember if you fuck my kid we're gonna have to have a very different conversation.
oh oh I have never heard of that one ??
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january | week three
I'm in the market to trade three cigarettes for the services of a cold-hearted bastard. How far do you think that will get me?
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Why three cigarettes? Is it so I can trade them back to you for a blowjob?
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I don't suppose you happen to find yourself in possession of idle hands?
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levitate event | mid-week 2
I need some help. What do you want for it?
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...sounds like you're in a rough enough spot to write me a blank check for later.
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You can have whatever you want— no negotiations or strings attached— so long as you get over here before I die in some disgusting and undignified way.
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'kay. What's out there? On my way.
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Some wild super hosts came through my wall; and I'm pretty sure they would love kill me rather than have a conversation about how I should hear about their Lord and Savior, Sleep. There's a lot of them, and they're generally faster and stronger than the usual ones. I thought maybe I could just run them around, but they're really persistent! And even if I pick them off, more show up.
[ he'll send some mental images of the hosts to Toji, and while some look like the normal ones that wander around at night and at the subway areas nearest their entrances, a few are clearly bigger and/or more grotesque. Others are clearly simply far more aggressive which can be seen by their default body language.
He'll also give Toji a quick replay of the car coming right through the wall in front of him earlier, which kicked off this whole thing, something hosts don't actually (at least not normally?) do. Being inside of a building or with a wall between you and them is normally pretty safe so long as they can't wander along and find an opening to pass through somehow. ]
... Also never had to fight one of these things before. They've always left me alone. I figure you have at least a little experience.
[ what with you running around outside feral a lot and all at night and things! ]
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he takes off as promised, the fact that aventurine is dug into a known location simplifying matters considerably.
from aventurine's perspective, there's a long stretch of silence as toji doesn't bother replying after he's gotten all the information he needs. then, distantly, the sound of things shifting, of rubble and ruin moving, the dull, wet, meaty sounds of a fight--
and then toji's voice from somewhere nearby as he casually grapples a host scrabbling around aventurine's space and chucks it wholesale out the window. ]
Kitten? Daddy's home.
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